The Head Game

When my symptoms first presented themselves and I was certain that something was amiss within my body, it was easy for me to be convinced that I was going a little bonkers. After my doctor conducted two EKGs – the results of which were negative - the fact that this could ‘all be in my mind’ seemed like a very real possibility. Over a year later, when the symptoms gave way to an official diagnosis, I had no idea that it would be the opening pitch of an ongoing head game.

After identifying my bicuspid aortic valve, my cardiologist gave me a word of warning: if I felt an intense pain between my shoulder blades, seek help IMMEDIATELY. Apparently, the intense discomfort is a signal of my aorta ripping and the warning shots of a medical emergency. This caution, while definitely well-intended, created a chaotic mental dispute between ‘real’ and ‘perceived’ pain. Was that a back spasm or my body prompting me to call 911?

Fast forward three months later on a Monday afternoon. I was out running errands with my wife and upon reentering the driver’s seat of our Honda Element, I was a struck with a sharp, debilitating pain…between my shoulder blades! Once the initial attack subsided and I was able to move to the passenger seat, my wife and I anxiously discussed how to proceed. With the pain still present yet less severe, we decided to err on the side of caution and drove to the emergency room.

By the time we arrived, I mostly felt fine. Looking around me at the ER waiting room, I saw people wincing in pain or drained by illness; everyone else appeared worse off than I did. Regardless, I was seen by the triage nurse almost immediately. My symptoms seemed to point to a more urgent danger: that my aorta may have torn.

Without hesitation, the ER doctors ran blood tests and a CT scan. While I was being prodded with needles and wheeled through various hallways, all of the hospital staff was astonished when I told them about my aortic aneurysm. Most of them were surprised that I had these health issues at such a young age. Others were shocked that I had been diagnosed with a mostly symptom-less condition. As I learned during my trip to the ER, the moment that someone knows that they have an aortic aneurysm is when it ruptures…and it’s too late.

At the end of the day, I was feeling very lucky. Not only did I feel fortunate to have pinpointed my issues early enough to take preventative action, I was also being sent home from the ER with optimistic results from my many tests. Apparently, nothing was wrong.

Yet even with the good news… there was never any clear indication of what the unbearable pain was. That lingering question was further evidence that this head game isn’t over yet.